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The Pope Must Die
The Pope Must Die (U.S. alternate title The Pope Must Diet!) is a 1991 comedy film directed by Peter Richardson and released by Palace Pictures with the backing of Channel 4 Films. The script was written by Richardson with Pete Richens, derived from elements of an earlier screenplay for a three-part mini-series satirising the Catholic Church, which was rejected by Channel 4. The Pope Must Die stars Robbie Coltrane as a low ranking priest who is mistakenly elected Pope, then has to avoid being assassinated by the Mafia. The film was originally planned as a part of a three-part mini series for Channel 4, which was cancelled by the station after press outcry. This led Richardson to sever his long relationship with Channel 4 and move his future productions to the BBC. The budget for the film was later approved by Palace Pictures with the backing of Channel 4 Films. The production was filmed in 1990 in the former Yugoslavia on a budget of £2.5 million. The film's subject matter was controversial, which caused the distributors serious difficulties with its promotion, London Transport refusing to carry advertising for it until the film's posters were censored. In the United States the Big Three television networks refused to show commercials for the film, which they said was sacrilegious and offensive. Many newspapers in the US also censored or refused to carry advertising for the film. The film was released to mixed reviews, and struggled at the box office, failing to make back its budget at the cinema. The film was released on VHS but it is not currently available on DVD or Blu-ray. Plot The plot is predicated on the Vatican being controlled by the Sicilian Mafia boss Vittorio Corelli. The movie opens with the death of the previous Pope followed by a deadlocked conclave that lasts for 25 days. The conclave is ended by the Mafia's tame Cardinal Rocco, who successfully persuades the College of Cardinals to elect in absentia the Mafia's favoured candidate to the papacy, Albini (Janez Vajevec), a priest in the service of the Mafia, whom Rocco passes off as an absent "Cardinal Albini". Unfortunately for the Mafia, the secretary of the College of Cardinals Fr. Rookie is hard of hearing, and while recording the official results of the election, he misheard the pope-elect's name and instead of writing "Cardinal Albini" he writes down "Cardinal Albinizi" and "Albinizi" happens to be the surname of an honest parish priest, C. David "Dave" Albinizi. As a result, Fr. Albinizi becomes Pope and takes the name of Pope David I. Father Albinizi is an unorthodox priest, interested in cars, women and Rock and Roll. However, his interests in those are rather benign and not overly carnal. Prior to his ascent to the papacy, Albinzi had been a priest in an Italian orphanage, where he took a genuine interest in the children's welfare and wished them to grow up enjoying the gospel, as opposed to the curmedgeonly nuns who believe misery is deserved. Inside the Vatican, the Pope gets along with Bish, a priest in charge of coordinating the pope's security and an unnamed nun (Mirta Zecevic) assigned to bring him his meals. The pope initially considers abdicating due to a failed assassination attempt against him but is convinced by the nun to stay. As the plot develops, one of the journalists at the press conference asks the Pope to explain the corruption inside the Vatican bank. The Pope demands to see the Vatican accounts. Bish had previously received a disk upon the previous pope's death containing information about the financial irregularities and when Pope David looks into the Vatican accounts, Bish gives the disk to the pope. With Bish's help, the Pope discovers the gun-smuggling and stolen merchandise operations, and confronts Cardinal Rocco. Albinizi immediately has Rocco defrocked as punishment and to help put an end to the corruption. In revenge, Rocco persuades his mafia backers to intensify the assassination efforts against Pope David. Together with the papal chamberlain Monsignor Fitchie, Cardinal Rocco decides to find any affair to blackmail the Pope. They find out that before joining the priesthood, Albinizi fathered a son with Veronica Dante, an American tourist. Albinizi had joined the priesthood because Veronica did not want to marry him or stay with him. Consequently, Veronica had given birth to their son, but never informed Albinizi of this. Their son is now a rock star, Joe Don Dante, dating Corelli's daughter Luccia (Khedija Sassi). Corelli doesn't approve this relationship and sends thugs to kill Joe. However, the bomb which destroys Joe's trailer kills Luccia and seriously wounds Joe who is then revealed the truth about his father. Albinizi, now Pope David I, learns about his son from Veronica and subsequently visits him before Joe dies. Pope David learns the Vatican Bank is a tool of the Mafia, and has it dissolved. Soon after that the Pope's affair is revealed and he is forced to resign and Corelli's candidate Albini is elected Pope. Corelli and Fr. Albini move into the papal apartments. Out in the streets, Albinizi gets back with Veronica. He also finds out that the orphanage where he previously worked before becoming pope had closed. Albinizi reads the news about Albini becoming pope and rushes back to the Vatican to ask Bish to help him stop the coronation. On the way to the papal apartments the two encounter a dying Cardinal Rocco who had just been shot by Corelli. While Bish continues to the papal apartments, Rocco confesses to Albinizi who grants him absolution in his dying moments interrupted by a phone call to Rocco from his female partner. Rocco subsequently dies and Albinizi having completed the absolution rite goes to the papal chamber and finds Bish bound. Bish however tells Albinizi that the coronation was about to take place and tells him to get there fast instead of freeing him. Albinizi rushes off to the Sistine Chapel. Mons. Fitchie who had previously overheard Corelli shoot Cardinal Rocco eventually comes and frees Bish. Albinizi manages to get into the Sistine Chapel just before the end of the ceremony and reveals to the public that the man in the chapel called Albini is really Corelli in disguise. Corelli admits that there was no Cardinal Albini, declares himself as "Pope Vittorio I, Emperor of the Vatican" and draws the gun to hold Albinizi at gunpoint. He fires a few shots which hit the ceiling, causing it to collapse and bury Corelli. After Corelli is defeated, a nun (the one who served Albinizi when he was pope) is chosen to become the first female Pope in history. The new Pope (or Popess) announces that she will give the Vatican's gold to the world's poor. She also gives her blessing for Albinizi to take a bride. Albinizi and Veronica marry (with Bish as the priest), adopt the children from the orphanage and have children of their own as well. Cast *Robbie Coltrane as Father Albinizi/The Pope (Pope David I) *Alex Rocco as Cardinal Rocco *Ade Edmondson as Father Rookie *Paul Bartel as Monsignor Fitchie *Peter Richardson as Bish *Annette Crosbie as Mother Superior *Herbert Lom as Vittorio Corelli *Beverly D'Angelo as Veronica Dante Category:Movies Category:1991 films Category:Comedy films